"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko)
11/18/2013 at 10:06 • Filed to: Oppo Reviews, Lincoln LS | 4 | 49 |
The Lincoln LS was Ford’s attempt to bring Lincoln a BMW 5-Series competitor in order to gain younger clientele. They wanted to make a proper European sports sedan with independent rear suspension, rear wheel drive, 50/50 weight distribution, along with the luxury amenities one would expect. So, this being ‘90s Ford, they used a Jaguar platform. The Jaguar S-Type to be specific. Then, they hired a German designer to make it look German. The car launched as a 2000 model year in 1999. It was met with much praise, including the Motor Trend car of the year award. The LS received it’s only refresh in 2003, which, if you read the title, is the car being reviewed here.
Exterior 9/10
The LS has a very handsome body, which, was clearly influenced by the BMW’s and Mercedes of the late 1990’s. You can tell that they started with a solid block of clay and carved it down, (much unlike the newer Japanese luxury cars where they took a car and started just adding various bits to while blindfolded.) The 17 inch wheels are an attractive design and fill out the wheel wells nicely. The black headlight bezels, and smoked taillights complete the look.
Interior 8.5/10
Power all the things!
Multi-way power seats, pedals, and steering wheel make finding a comfortable driving position easy. The leather seats are very plush and mildly supportive through spirited turns; however it’s clear that highway comfort was chosen over sport. But, in a car like this, it was a good choice to make.
The back seat is also comfortable, but due to the #thicke front seats, leg room suffers for taller passengers.
Most of the plastics are soft to the touch and feel good, however there are a few key pieces that remind you of Ford’s “Let’s make this cost way less than the competition” approach of the era.
But the only downfall of the interior is outside visibility, this would have knocked off more points, but seeing how all new cars are like this, I’ll only take off a half.
Acceleration 7/10
The 3.9L DOHC V8 is making 280 hp and 286 lb-ft of torque, with 87% of it coming at under 2,000 RPM. This is enough to get the car to 60 mph in less than 6 seconds. The only down side to this is the transmission, which I’ll get to later on.
Braking 7/10
It stops good and the pedal feel is nice.
Ride 8/10
It’s built for nice long highway blasts with the ability to take turns. The Jag platform is a great multi-tasker. It absorbs bumps well without getting unnerved. The LS is just on the comfort side of ride and handling.
Handling 7.5/10
The car handles quite well for a big-mid-sized sedan, thanks 50/50 weight distribution, RWD, and Jaguar IRS! The steering feel is there, but nowhere near my E36’s. However, this is not a bad thing, as it is a very nice highway cruiser and the LS feels planted at speed.
Gearbox 2/10
To the people who designed the 5-speed automatic found here should be kicked in the head repeatedly. This would be a good description of how it really wants to behave. If you go easy on the throttle it will shift with only minor jarring at about 2,000 RPM. If you put it into manual mode, things change for the worse. It will hold the gear that you have chosen for as long as you want. When you go to shift, the delay is most unnerving as it decides to shift, and when it does shift, there is a big kick to your face. If you are in 4 th or 5 th and come to a stop, the car will put itself into 1 st .
Also the shift pattern is backwards, with moving the shifter forwards for the upshift and backwards for a down shift. Minus big points here.
Audio 7/10
The ten speaker stereo system has nice highs and good bass, however the mids are just a tad lacking. The deep V8 burble is nice under heavy acceleration, and whisper quiet for the rest of the time. I would like more all the time, but most would find it annoying.
Toys 8/10
Heated and Air Conditioned front seats, the heat function will roast the hell out of your testicles if you have them, but the A/C is so damn awesome in the summer time, so huge points just for that. Automatic climate control is good. Sunroof that works is nice. Power everything.
Value 10/10
Why a perfect 10? Because they are $10,000 and below for good ones, and supplies are still plentiful. It's just a shame that Ford only kept it around for 6 years, Lincoln is in need of a car like this now.
Total- 74/100
Engine: 3.9 liters V8 with 86.1 mm bore, 85.1 mm stroke, 10.8 compression ratio, double overhead cam, variable valve timing/camshaft and four valves per cylinder
Power: 280 HP @ 6,000 rpm; 286 ft-lb @ 4,000 rpm
Transmission: 5 speed autoterible
0-60 Time: About 6 seconds
Top Speed: 140 MPH (limited)
Drivetrain: Rear-Wheel Drive
Curb Weight: 3692 lbs
Seating: 5
MPG: 16 city/23 highway/18 combined cycle (Real world is better about @ 24 combined)
Blue Book Average: Around $7,000ish
Pictures from various sources on Google, because I'm not at home to take them from my mom's car, which is light green like the lead pic.
Bricks
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 10:15 | 1 |
why would you want to manually shift a automatic gearbox, it's like going to a restaurant and cooking your own meal!
Goshen, formerly Darkcode
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 10:17 | 1 |
Your mother drives a Lincoln LS. What a badass lady.
Jokes aside, this is one of two Lincolns (the Mark VIII being the other) I have a genuine interest and respect for, probably due to their rear wheel drive/frontmounted V8 engine layout. Ironically, the LS, which was exported to European markets, is impossible to find for sale now; the Mark VIII, which wasn't, can be found in surprising numbers (especially in Germany).
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> Bricks
11/18/2013 at 10:18 | 7 |
Because I wanted to?
Because fuck you I won't do what they tell me?
And there are restaurants that allow you to cook your own meal.
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> Goshen, formerly Darkcode
11/18/2013 at 10:21 | 1 |
For all intensive purposes, it's a Jag S-Type in a better body. People who own them tend to like them, so maybe that's why they're not to be found over on your side of the world. If you can find one, defiantly give it a drive.
Bricks
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 10:24 | 0 |
well, almost all automatics are pure shit in manual mode. If you're going to review a automatic car, don't give it shit because it wasn't as good at shifting as a conventional manual.
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> Bricks
11/18/2013 at 10:26 | 0 |
Some auto's shift quite well in manual mode, the LS is not one of those.
ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 10:27 | 4 |
Typo in value section; it's below, not bellow.
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)
11/18/2013 at 10:30 | 3 |
Thanks, also everybody take note, this is how you notify someone of a typo.
themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 10:31 | 1 |
Well they did have to have the 3.0L V6 buuuuut......
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/18/2013 at 10:32 | 0 |
I know, but the V8's were auto only, and my mom bought the V8
ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 10:33 | 1 |
No problem.
Glad you realized I wasn't trolling, and was only trying to help.
Bricks
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 10:33 | 0 |
see that I said almost all automatics are crap in manual mode, I still don't understand why you would give it shit for something it wasn't designed to do...
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> Bricks
11/18/2013 at 10:34 | 1 |
It was designed to have a manual mode, hence why it has a manual mode.
Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 10:35 | 1 |
Disagree: YOU'RE AN IDIOT OMG CAN'T BELIEVE YOU EVEN POSTED THIS DUNG
GhostZ
> Bricks
11/18/2013 at 10:37 | 1 |
That would true, if a good manual was offered or a good automatic was offered. But not in the V8 LS, only the manual-mode auto was available. Ford thought that the manual-mode shifter was good enough that they wouldn't need a manual, and they were wrong .
In reality, they should have just put in a good automatic and not put a manual mode at all, it would get a 5 or 6/10 probably. But because they put a shitty auto, with an even worse manual mode, their error in design means that the car loses points.
A better comparison would be like going to a restaurant that also offers a 'select your own' option on their menu that lets you decide what type of food you want to eat. When it arrives, because you chose the 'select your own' option, your plate is broken and your food is bad and spilling out everywhere. It doesn't matter how good the other options on the menu are, especially if they aren't very good (and in the LS's case, there are no other menu options) that restaurant is getting a bad review.
ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 10:40 | 3 |
It's "for all intents and purposes"
An intensive purpose is just concentrating on a goal really hard.
And, yes, now I'm trolling. LOL
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)
11/18/2013 at 10:41 | 1 |
1 minute too late for me to edit.
dick
ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 10:42 | 0 |
You might be able to if you go to your private view page.
The Opponaut formerly known as MattP123
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 10:51 | 4 |
Pretty sure it's "olive tents and poor pisses".
William Byrd
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 11:01 | 3 |
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> William Byrd
11/18/2013 at 11:02 | 0 |
I'll add my own pictures later today.
William Byrd
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 11:06 | 1 |
Good real-world review, nice work. Always liked the LS. Not many RWD V8 sedans offered in the last couple decades that weren't super expensive.
This was almost the Mustang's platform, DEW98 . Interesting that Jag is still using it for the XF!
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> William Byrd
11/18/2013 at 11:08 | 0 |
If only Ford would have kept at it....
Bruno Martini
> William Byrd
11/18/2013 at 11:29 | 0 |
Actualy the s197 is a modified version of that platform....
Turk
> themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/18/2013 at 11:40 | 0 |
I'm just this side of too lazy to read up and figure it out. Is it really a "BMW supplied" manual transmission as the ebay ad states? or is this just another example of how you don't have to be a car guy to sell cars?
(I figure "BMW supplied" may really just mean ZF which stands a reasonably high chance of being accurate, making the statement more overstatement than falsehood...)
William Byrd
> Bruno Martini
11/18/2013 at 11:42 | 0 |
That it is!
noise
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 12:22 | 0 |
Fuck i want to own this car
themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
> Turk
11/18/2013 at 12:31 | 0 |
I don't think so. It should be a ZF unit and they might be a BMW supplier, but it is most likely NOT a BMW designed transmission.
rb1971 ARGQF+CayenneTurbo+E9+328GTS+R90S
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 12:53 | 1 |
My father had a 2001 with everything except the V8. I made fun of him when he bought it (told him it was an old man's car - although at 79 at the time he certainly qualified). Then I drove it, and I was really amazed how good it was for the money even when new. Super comfortable, great highway cruiser*, nice motor. Terrible transmission when pushed, but as he said to me at the time "well, don't do that". And basically given the type of car it is, he was right.
* - Great highway cruiser, unless (just to pick a random hypothetical example that in no way happened to me), you drive it from Atlanta to Chattanooga TN for a wedding, get extremely drunk, wake up EXTREMELY hung over, and start heading home back down I75, only to have every idiot light in the car come home half way from no where, leaving you stranded on the side of the road in Northeast Bumblefuck GA on a hot morning, while hungover, while semis are passing you going 100 MPH. (In reality, I'm glad this happened when I was driving rather than my father.)
911e46z06
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 13:53 | 1 |
I like this car a lot. When I was 17 my dad totaled my first car, and I test drove an LS V8 as a possible replacement. I thoroughly enjoyed it. There's something nice about a big, grunty American V8 and RWD in a proper daily driver.
Turk
> themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
11/18/2013 at 14:00 | 0 |
Yes, ZF is one of the more typical BMW transmission selections if I remember right (someone on Oppo should be able to enlighten us if not). That was kinda my point... same transmission (as sourced from third party for use) in BMWs =! BMW transmission, but it's actually an almost-truth that still puts it a cut above most car ads.
Tony Montana
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 14:43 | 1 |
I love this car to death. Maybe that's because it's an S-type but not ugly, or that its design has held up better than most cars of that time.
At any rate, I'm not sure you should have been so harsh on the transmission. At the time a "good manumatic" was a rare thing, and otherwise this one was good if occasionally irritating.
Lastly, find one in white and it becomes downright gorgeous.
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> Tony Montana
11/18/2013 at 14:46 | 0 |
My experience with it has been bad. Maybe they weren't all so terrible, but I can only review based on my experience. But yeah, the body looks so good still.
Tony Montana
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/18/2013 at 17:03 | 0 |
From 2000 through 2002, a much higher percentage of transmissions were lame ducks than from 2003 on. You may have gotten a lemon.
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> Tony Montana
11/18/2013 at 17:04 | 0 |
It's an '03 and very possibly a lemon.
Vincenzo71
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/19/2013 at 04:00 | 0 |
My sister has a 2000 LS V8, and it's a comfy, fun, nice car overall. It's pristine and has low miles. But, her console armrest squeaks and moans whenever there's someone's arm on it, and I think that it's a ridiculous shame that an armrest should squeak. The console of my beat up 79 Camaro emits NO SOUNDS when an arm is resting upon it. This is not ok! Definitely one area that the Ford beancounters should've spent a few more pennies on!! Other than that, great car.
JJJenningsIII
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/21/2013 at 13:31 | 1 |
Oh this car brings back such good memories. My mom had one of these while I was in highscool and I loved nothing more than knocking that back end out and getting sideways.
A part of me is grateful (read: lucky) that I didn't kill myself in that thing. Between topping it out at 135 on the highway, and wrapping it around a tree it really taught me to respect a machine more than any other car I had driven at the time.
Squid
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/21/2013 at 18:47 | 1 |
Totally missed this on Monday. . . There are a few common issues with the LS that are relatively easy fixes which might scare people away from them and which also keeps them cheap to buy. The window regulators will fail it is not a matter of if, but when. You need a riveter to complete the task as well as some suction cups linked with cable to hold the glass up while completing the regulator replacement but they are not that hard to do. Also when the climate control only puts out blistering hot heat and no cool air, it is going to be the heater control valve which is up front by the radiator if I remember correctly. It is common for the HCV to fail as well and it is a bit of a pain in the ass to change out but not impossible. If you do anything with the cooling system you need to make sure there are no air pockets what so ever or else the jag motor will kill its self. Also the coils will go bad, if there is a misfire just replace all 8 coils and be done with it.
I actually really like these cars and you are correct that the transmission is the biggest let down of the car, with the suspension being too soft coming in second. I was looking at buying one of these after I totaled my Focus, I found a 2005 LS V8 that was a Cashmere and Camel car, I'm not so keen on light interiors but this car was pretty clean and the guy was only asking $5,000 for it. Of course when I called someone else picked it up and I guess the guy said he sold it to the first person who saw it, the ad was up for a few weeks before I saw it. . . I missed out, but I guess I can be happy that I don't have to buy fuel for the V8 or pay a luxury cars insurance premium. . .
I still kinda want one of these cars.
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> Squid
11/21/2013 at 19:13 | 0 |
We've fixed a lot of parts on it. Most of the problems are the same as any luxury cars of that age, so it doesn't frighten me. We got good about burping cooling systems thanks to my E36.
Squid
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/21/2013 at 19:38 | 1 |
I used to wrench on these for a living, so I kinda have a decent knowledge of what goes wrong with them. If you can live with the niggles they are an awesome car. You really get your bang for your buck but some fixes can be expensive. Oh double sided stick tape or good strong velcro is your friend if the headliner starts sagging in the rear over the 3rd brake light. . . I miss driving these cars, advance track is fun to play with when the weather gets shitty.
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> Squid
11/21/2013 at 20:03 | 1 |
yeah, fixed the headliner too.
Squid
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/21/2013 at 20:50 | 0 |
Hahaha, it really seems like they all have the same issues. But most are easily remedied. Also if the tranny starts acting up, most likely culprit is the valve body... The valve body is an easy change. Pulling the whole tranny out is not too much fun though. Maybe when I sell the Miata I'll look for one of these beasts again. . .
fatallightning
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/21/2013 at 22:39 | 1 |
Better body!?! I love the upright stodginess of my S-type. The fact that its British Racing Green and I dropped the mufflers to be obnoxious also ups the fun factor for me.
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> fatallightning
11/21/2013 at 22:41 | 0 |
Yes, the S-Type was not a high point for Jag design.
fatallightning
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/21/2013 at 22:46 | 0 |
It may sometimes look like a Hyundai Sonata from the time period, but feelllllll the vibes.
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> fatallightning
11/21/2013 at 22:50 | 0 |
I just can't
ss_lump
> Turk
11/23/2013 at 20:50 | 0 |
The transmission is a Getrag 221. It was only used in the S-Type and LS, so it's not a BMW supplied or used transmission.
jfeeney
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
02/13/2016 at 15:31 | 0 |
how do you most effectively burp the cooling system?
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> jfeeney
02/13/2016 at 15:51 | 0 |
With a catch bottle